


NDRV3: A Summary

by TeruTeruObliterator11037



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: A Crack Summary Of The Game, Amami Can't Correctly Answer Questions, Arby's, Chapter 5 is Split in Half, Crack, Crytyping, Discourse, Kaede Is Surprisingly Savage, Multi, NDRV3 Spoilers, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Ouma Is A Hot Pocket Advocate, Saihara is Emo as Always, Shirogane Should Probably Stop, Slight Plot Divergence, Therefore..., kukuku, ~Plot Holes~
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-10-16 19:50:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10578318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeruTeruObliterator11037/pseuds/TeruTeruObliterator11037
Summary: NDRV3 loosely summarized into an easy-to-read, crack fic format!





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello readers! Hope you are doing well! (And sorry for not being around for a bit I have been on vacation.)  
> I have so much planned for this fic, and I also have ideas for oneshots and seconds chapters for some previous works! I'm so excited!  
> I won't ramble for long, though! Have fun reading!

roses are red

here is a shocker

kaede akamatsu

is stuck in a locker

 

but then she wasn't

she fell out

truly inspirational 10/10

but she was wearing a black school uniform

wait why is she wearing a black uniform is this the black parade)

 

 

 

"gasp!" she gasped "where am I??? _who_ am I?? and why am I wearing black??

"Please don't be emo that's my job" a Voice rang frome across hte room

"GASP" she gasped "IM SHOOK!!!!!!

WHO YOU"

the voice revealed itself to be a bo

y

" I'm Suuichi Saihara and I really don t know why im here" the boy said

"Ok Hi Squishy! I'm kaede akamatsu, but u call me kaede!!!"

'nah sorry ill call you akamatsu-san"

"Yeah MmHmm I Hope When You Die Your Edgy Corpse Is Hung On A String And Used On A Large Piano To Play The Flea Waltz"

'w h a t "

"did i say something oops i forgot!! teehee~"

suddenly THERE WERE ROBOTS (why?  
you know why don play these games with me)

"beep blip bappity booper" the robot said singsongingly, "i pick up kiddos in my scooper"

"Im Sorry But What", said the Nintendo Swichi

but before anything else happened, the kiddos got picked up in the scooper!

 

 

A Couple Hours Later, The Two Were In A Gymnasium Filled With 14 Other Children That Would Take Too Long To Individually Describe

but they were all pretty Sh00k

except for like this one guy, he was all, "Oh, Tell Me Your Motives. My Name Is Amami Rantaro, But That's All I'll Say. Happy Now?"

_so snobby_

 but there was also a bear!!!!!! and his multicolored kids!!!1!!1!1!1!!!!1

"upupu yall have nassy fashion sense, " said the big enchilada papa bear "get yourself some fresh kicks oh wait heres some"

and then clothes fell from the ceiing and keddy had a magical girl type transfommation

like that's some sailor moon stuff rihgt there

majjy madoker or whateve r you caller too

but suddenly everyone was wearing different clothes!!!

befoere they could do anything the bear spoke

"hello naughty children its murder time"

???/???

"kill each other, if ya get caught, ya die, if ya don't, everyone else dies"

??????

"kill each other?" the chol;dren aksed

"Did

I

Stutter

??

ALso im monokuma btw you can call me your Lord And Savior upupu now go mingle so when someone dies yall get emotional "

and so the bears left

there they go

 

but lets take some time to get to know our prtotagnist , kaede

She is the SHSL Pianist and is really nice and a leader figure,,,,,,,,,

hm

reminds me of,,,,,someone,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

from another dr game,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,hm,,,,,,,

 

and our boy suuichi is the SHSL Detective

he doesn't think he is,,,,,but hunnny, y'are

hes very shy and insecure but kinda nice and has a squeaky voice

 

 

bUT WHO CARES BOUT THEM LETS MOVE ON

 

And So Kaede And Suuichi Parted Ways To Meet The Rest Of The Gang

 

Kaede first talked to a girl with a pinwheel in her hair ??

y tho

but the girl was all like "im tenko (the SHSL Akido person) and i moderately dislike men and will fight you

meet my girlfried yumeno"

suddently she pulled a small child with red har out of her pinwhel

"Yumeno?" Kaede Asked, "You Mean, Oh! Himiko!"

"hmm, you know my first name, ke,,, you dark fool, this school is 2 small for 2 mages,,,,,i WILL DEFEAT YOU WITH MY MANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

"yeah she likes to roleplay"

"I can see that"

"shes the SHSL Magician"

 _"*mage"_ yelled the angry child

"ok bye" saud the painist

 

and they parted ways

then keds saw a big buff man with messy hair

lookign like some MAILMAN WITH THAT MAN PURSE

"Hello! I'm Gonta Gokuhara! What's your name?"

"My names kaede, you seem really pure!"

"Thanks! Gonta is very happy to meet you! What is your talent?"

"i'm the SHSL Pianist, you?'

"Gonta is the Super High School Level Entomologist!"

"cool bye !"

"Bye!"

 

Oh yeah remember that snobby guy from earlier,,,,,,,,,,, yah apparently hes like really nice now

how?

um

 

 

"Hey, My Name Is Rantaro Amami. Nice To Meet You!" the guy smild

"um hey cutie . is that your hair or a bunch of cabbage on your head? i cnat tell"

"I Actually Don't Know My Talent, But I'm Not A Suspicious Guy! Trust Me!"

"that didn't answer my question"

 

 

oh look over there! a girl with blue hair

"hey im tsumugi shirogane im the ultimate cosplayer and im really famous"

"oh wow"

"what????' she got ANGEREY

"you look really plain that's all"

"yeah that's what they all say before I skin them and use their flesh as leather to mak e the boots for my link cosplay. your hair would make a nice wig"

"excuse me"

"did i stutter"

 

to kaedes left was a girl wearing a yelow jcket talking to a boy with weird spiky pruple hair and a blonde with questionable fashion sense

the girl in yeollow turned to see King (Kae)DeDeDe. she smieled and introdu c ed herself immediately

"I'm Angie yonaga!!11 Angie is the SHSL Artist! ohyeahalsodoyouhaveaminutetotalkaboutourlordandsaviorjesuschrist?"

"'DONT ENCOURAGE HER SHES BEEEN DOING THIS ALLLDAY" said the purple hair boy

before kaede could do anything though, the boy threw a bottle of holy water to the corner of the room. angie ran in the same direction at an unhuman speed

kaede turned to the purble, "Wie heißt du, lila Junge?"

"I AM KAITO MOMOTA SHSL ASTRONAUT I RULE THE STARS AND DID NOT ATTEND COLLEGE"

"none of us have?"

"SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

""'Oi!!!" the questionable blode girl screeched,,,"SHUDDDUP"

"NO"

"DIE BAKA"

"NO"

"guys stop fighting! we can do this together and be friends!" yelled kaede

"ok" the others said in unison

"now who are you?" the pianist pointed to the shouty girl

"KYAKYAKYA I AM THE GODDESSSSSSSSS,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,MIU IRUMA,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,SHSL INVENTOR,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I MADE EYEDROP CONTACTS BUT I HATE THEM COS MAKIN EM REQUIRED EFFORT"

"ok see yall soon!"

 

at the other side of the area was a lady in a maid dress, kaede thought she looked nice.

"hi, are you the SHSL maid?"

"Yes, let me know if you need anything."

"Okie dokie"

 

that wasn't funny at all

 

 

 

kaede left the room, knowing that the others were there. _we all have to be friends,,_ she thought!

 

the first person she saw was like a gremlin, he was 3 feet tall, wore a spiked beany, a prsion suit, and was chewing on a root beer flavored dumdum

"hi!"

the young man did not respond

"whats your name? talent?"

'ryouma hoshi, tennis, i have a kill count of 106"

"cool! mines 124!"

 

kaede began to skip to the storage room, ,,,,she smelled a bit of homo in that direction

and in that direction she most certsainly found it

"oyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!" a small boy ith a checkered scarf yelled, but those words were not for keded

they were fore a sligthtly taller strage young man with white hair1~!!!!!!"}

"YAMATTE KUDASAI!" the white hair boy pleaded

"nooooo!! i wanna hug the robo!!!"

_robo?_

"Please do not approach me! I will call my lawyer!"

"who are you two?" the pian ogirl inquired

the "robo" began, "I am Kiibo! The Super Highschool Robot is who I am! I will not stand for any prejudice towards robots!"

"oh! ummmmm aight you do you boo"

the tinier one broke the silence,,,,, "IM KOKICHI OUMA I AM THE SHSL SUPREME RULER I HAVE AN ORGINIZATION WITH OVER 10000 MEMBERS I LOVE GRAPE SODA AND DUDES I ALSO LOVE HONESTY THAT WAS A LIE NISHISHI"

"weirdo

 

ok bye!"

 

the girl turned around and saw a dude with long blac hair and a zipper mask over his mouth

"kukuku"

he disssapeard

 

and finally, watching the spiel was a girl with red eyeballs and pigtails

"Hey" she smurmered, "before you say anything i am maki harukawa and im the shsl child caretaker please do not engage in conversation with me"

"you don't seem like the type whos be good with kids"

"im not"

 

And so, after Kaede met all of her classmates, will it be possible for a murder to occur between them? Find out next time on

TOTAL

DRAMA

ISLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter Uno: Ya Dun Goof'd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A murder occurs! What to do? Whodunnit?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! How are you all?  
> I was planning to release this chapter on Friday or before, but this week turned out to be SUPER busy! I hope this ~sorta~ makes up for my inactivity. Well, I will ramble no more! Enjoy!

introductions are over. time for murder.

are you afraid now?

yare a wuss

 

but beside that once everybody was introduced  they all went back into the gymnasium??

kaede decided to read up the rules of the ga,e like the frackin nerd she is),  on her **Free iPad That She Won For Free After Clicking The Link Below** :

//bit.ly/itsj0ke/

OK SO IMPORTANT KNOWLEDGE ASIDE THESE RULES WERE PREEEETY DUMB

and some Discourse arose once more

irume was the first to speak

"uhm yall suck I don't trust yall buhbye" she started to run away before kaede grew seven more arms and crawled like the nine legged spider she is to capture the inventor in her hairi limbs

"'We all gotta work together!" the pianist yelled, morphing to her original form , "Or else we all will die!!1!1!"

]"i agree," sai hara agreed, agreeing to kaede's statement

""In fact," our blonde protagnist proclmed, "i have a speech!"

"well lets hea =r it" blared momota,

"alright so

together, together, together everyone

Together, together, come on let's have some fun

Together, we're there for each other every time

Together, together, come on let's do this right

 

Here and now it's time for celebration

I finally figured it out (yeah yeah)

That all our dreams have no limitations

That's what its all about (yeah yeah)

 

Everyone is special in their own way

We make each other strong (we make each other strong)

We're not the same

We're different in a good way

Together's where we belong

 

We're all in this together

Once we know

That we are

We're all stars

And we see that

We're all in this together

And it shows

When we stand

Hand in hand

Make our dreams come true

 

Together, together, together everyone

Together, together, come on let's have some fun

Together, we're there for each other every time

Together, together, come on let's do this right

 

We're all here

And speaking out with one voice

We're going to rock the house (YEAH YEAH!)

The party's on now everybody make some noise

Come on scream and shout

 

We've arrived because we stuck together

Champions one and all

 

We're all in this together

Once we know

That we are

We're all stars

And we see that

We're all in this together

And it shows

When we stand

Hand in hand

Make our dreams come

 

We're all in this together

When we reach

We can fly

Know inside

We can make it

We're all in this together

Once we see

There's a chance

That we have

And we take it

 

Wild cats sing along

Yeah, you really got it goin' on

Wild cats in the house

Everybody say it now

Wild cats everywhere

Wave your hands up in the air

That's the way we do it

Lets get to it

Time to show the world

 

We're all in this together

Once we know

That we are

We're all stars

And we see that

We're all in this together

And it shows

When we stand

Hand in hand

Make our dreams come true

 

We're all in this together

When we reach

We can fly

Know inside

We can make it

We're all in this together

Once we see

There's a chance

That we have

And we take it

 

Wild cats everywhere

Wave your hands up in the air

That's the way we do it

Let's get to it

Come on everyone!"

 

 

 

 

_tenko wisperd,"was that the song from high school mus-"_

"I Agree, Tenko." said amacado, "Kaede Performed An Incredible Speech!"

"TRULY INSPRATIONAL," angle sobbed, "I CAN SEE  THE LIGHT OF GOD SHINIGN IN YOUR EYES,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,COULD THIS BE THE RE:BIRTH OF CHRIST????'

"You know what," gonter bemed , "I think I remember Shinguuji-kun and I finding a manhole cover in the garden! If we could lift that up, we could most likely escape!"

"Let's do that. " agred toejo

"Hooray!" akamatsu grinned! "lets go! you lead the way shingucci!"

"kukuku"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and then they were at the garden

how??

you know how

 

"but how are we going to lift up the manhole??" asked saihara

gonta then proceed ed to lift the manhole cover with his bare finers

wow

 

"VAMANOS AMIGOS" yelled kade, jumping headfirst into the manhole, 'OH LOOK YALL ITS A TUNNEL TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD "

"BLIMEYS" said himiko, "but somebody plis carry me I'm lazy"

tenko beamed, it was her time to shin (guuji) e

"snything for u precious gf" tenko ~~straight~~ \- up grabbed the small red child and did a hoppity down the manhole

then everyone elsejumped

the tunnel had some challenges, but things were ok I guess

until ouma began to complan, at the same time bringing somwthing to the rest of the groups attention,

"bUT MOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM,,, KAEDES SPECHES ARE WHATS CAUSING US DESPAIR"

"a-a-are they-y???/" whimpered kaede

"yes that's why everyone left"

"THATS IT IM TURNING THIS CAR AROUND"

"nishishi there is no car"

"PLEASE DONT QUESTION ME YOU FIVE FOOT ONE SALTY LIL TODLER,,,,,,,I BET YOUR MOM PACKS YOUR LUNCHES,,,YOURE TRYING TO BECOME A FUNCTIONING MEMMBER OF SOCIETY WITH THOSE,,,,,,,,,,H*CKEN BELTS AROUND YOUR THIGHS,,,,,,,WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH?? IF YOURE USING THOSE PAPER CLIPS TO FASTEN YOUR CLOTHES,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,YOU SHOULD JUST GIVE UP ON DIGNITY,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,ITS NOT _FOR YOU_ "

"wow um r0asted"

"kaede blease calm down, " bleaded saihara, "theres only a bit left to go"

"oh ok!"

but the tunnel turned out to be a prank set by the monokids

(mmmmm get bamBOOZLED)

so they all went home and kaede cried herself to sleep

the next morning the pianist was greeted by kokiter again

"I'm sorry for roasting you earlier, ouma"

"its okay! BeSiDes, I told a  lie so now the harmony in the group is restored"

"I'm so proud of you sonny boy"

"lol BYE"

then kaede approached suichi,

"hi wanna look for the mastermind w/ me"

"uwaaaaa," blushed the boy, " sure !"

"where do you think theyre hiding"

"the library because if youre keeping a bunch of teenagers inside of a prison school to kill each other,,then you probably also the type of person who doesn't like to read but goes to a library to vandalize the books

oh and I mean the mastermind is also probably learning to read if their moral code is that broken"

"i was expecting a roast but good deduction"

 

And So They Went To The Library And Set Up An Elaborate Trap. If A Person Were To Go Near The Mystery Novels, The Sensors Would Know, Setting Off A Camera Alarm That Would Alert Kaede To Do Something That I Forgot

 

"and now we wait" smiled kaede

"What Are You Two Doing?" a boi arrived! it was rantarot

"ummmmmm we are just trying to scope out the mastermind,,,,,are you the mastermind?"

"That's Really Neat! I'm Here To Go Check Out A Book"

"that didn't answer my question

also don't check out any mystery novels or you will die"

"Bye!"

and then he left,

and died

 

just kidding

 

not

 

CLASS TRIAL TIME

 

ouma began,, "alright, you know what's nice? eating two hot pockets at _the same time_ "

" NO!!!!!!" yelled Keebler, "That's not how they should be eaten! That's too much!"

"dude, that's how theyre _supposed to be eaten_ , ya gotta take them outta the paper things, skew them together with a toothpick, and put them in the microwave"

"YAMATTE KUDASAI"

"SHUTUP WHO KILLED AMAMI!" interrupted iruma

'"UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH" cried ouma, "SOMEONE KILLED MY BOYFRIEND!!!!!"

but in kaedes mind, she knew something that the rest didn't

I'm not telling y'all either

"ok," tsumugi said, "so amami was killed  by a shotput ball, shotput is a track and field sport, SO THEREFORE THE KILLER IS A FORMER TRACK AND FIELD ATHLETE WHO NO LONGER PARTICPIATES IN TRACK AND FIELD, BUT FONDLY REMEMBERS THE DAYS OF DOING SO. YOU KNOW WHO FITS THAT DESCRIPTION?? THATS RIGHT-SAIHARA"

"hhow do you know mmy track memories weve barley met"

">:3c"

kaede sighed, "ok you guys I have a joke:

knock knock"

"Who's there" the group replied

"interrupting pianist"

"interrupting pianist wh-"

"i killed amami"

wait what???

"i set up a trap to kill the mastermind  near the mystery novels and amami accidentally triggered it, leading to me dumbly stickin a shotput into a tube and killing him. I am so sorry you guys."

"its ok kaede," suiichi said, passing his friend a gold star sticker reading, "you tried"

"tthank you suuichi!" kaede creid, "i leave you in charge. believe in yourself! "

"i love you"

"cool! I'm going to die now.See you pal!"

_friendzoned again_

And So, Yeah MmHmm Her Edgy Corpse Was Hung On A String And Used On A Large Piano To Play The Flea Waltz

Can we have a moment of silence for our girl kaede, who lived and died for friendship?\

 

thanks

 

 

 

**CHAPTER 1: END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello once again. I'm really sorry about this chapter; it felt really lackluster to me to be honest. However, this is just a small bump in the road, as this fic will hopefully improve! As always, if you have any suggestions, I am more than happy to hear them! Please take care!


	3. Chapter Dos: *DJ Kahled Voice* Another One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ooops! Another murder! Will our class prevail?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm sorry for not being around! I've been way too busy these days and therefore have not been able to write! Fortunately, I can get this short chapter out, and (best(or worst, depends on you) case scenario) get another chapter out by the end of this week! Hope you guys enjoy!

This week on Danganronpa -------------------------------------------

 

 

  
Saiharas still reeling from akamatsus untimely death  
like the weakling he is  
but like nobody cares about that

 

 

but what we did care about was HAVING FUN  
but how would murderous teenagers have fun??  
well,

 

 

 

 

 

 

um

-the day after keddy Bit The Dust, the rest of the bunch was in the dining hall  
eating  
what were they eating?

  
well

 

 

  
iruma ran into the room,  
"YALL  
IM BORED !!!!"  
hoshi barely gave her a glance,,, "well life isn't fair"  
"I WANNA GO TO ARBYS"  
maki mumbled in a monotone voice, "we're not going to arbys"  
"KAEDE WOULD LET US GO TO ARBYS"  
saihara was Provoked  
he began to cry (because kaede had been mentioned),,  
"i am crying because kaede was mentioned, " cried saihara, because, as previously stated, kaede had been mentioned  
"nishishishishishishi,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,," kokitcher nishishid, "there are plenty of fish in the sea,,,,,,,,,and I am almas caviar in that aspect"  
"what"  
"ઈ(@̴̨̊̋̐̃̀̽̽ͅw@̴̨̊̋̐̃̀̽̽ͅ)ૐ

 

monkuma walked in and said something like, "yall look at these cool  _ **Monopads™  Patent Pending Ultra Spicy Fresh For The Pickin' Come And Get 'Em, Kids!**_  
they show somethin about your life"  
and a bunch of  childish boards flew out everywhere, they were like all rainbow and puzzly or something  
BUT THE IMPORTANT PART WAS THAT THEY HAD SCREENS ON EM  
AND YOU KNOW WHAT THE SCRREEENS SHOWED  
A PART OF THEIR PASTS THATS WHAT

BUT IM NOT TELLIN YALL ABOUT EVERYONES PASTS BECAUSE THAT IS ILLEGAL

so everyone was watching their Videos and were all like, "woahhhhh!"  
because,,,,,you know,,,,,its not everyday when ya get to learn some family-sized secret about your life

and ouma (oh no not him again) spoke,  
"yo what if we all just exchanged monopads"  
"NO WHY IN THE PNEUMA OF AUNT JEMIMA WOULD YOU ASK THAT???!!!" momerta screamed

  
~~"what's a pneuma" asked himiko~~   
~~K1-B0 responded,~~   
~~"pneu·ma~~   
~~[ˈn(y)o͞omə]~~   
  
~~NOUN~~   
~~pneumas (plural noun)~~   
~~Philosophy~~   
~~(    in Stoic thought) the vital spirit, soul, or creative force of a person"~~

~~"thank you keebus"~~

~~angie sCREACHED~~   
~~"DID SOME1~~   
~~JSUT USE~~   
~~THE NAME OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOR~~   
~~IN VAIN~~   
~~??"~~

"well," koki responded,,,  
"                   um"

  
So Nobody Shared Their Secrets

  
"LETS HAVE A MAGIC SHOW" demanded himiko, magically  
"Yeah lets do it!" yelled tenko, fightingly  
"WE'LL DO IT FOR JESUS!!!!" yelled angie, religiously  
"uhm mayyybe not" mumberd saihara, detectively, "well not for jesus at least"

  
Tojo smiled as warmly as she could, most likely having seen a game-changing memory of her past, "We will do it tomorrow, as soon as I set up the cafeteria for the event."

 

>>fast forward to the next day>>

'amd now," lazily claimed himiko, standing over a fish tank covered by a tarp ,"i will jump into this tank, which is full of pihranas I think and escape ~magically~"  
and as the tarp was lifted,,,,  
 hoshi ryoumas corpse was found!! and he got all eaten up by phranas!!!! ohhhh  nooooooooo

well, yalll know what that means

 

***INVESTIGATION MONTAGE TIME WITH FUNKY MYSTERY MUSIC"**

 

so once the class could investigate all that could be investigated,, it was Time

FOR THE DIDDDLY DARN CLASS TRIALLL

 

iruma began, "SO LIKE, IT WAS HIMIKOS SHOW RIGHT? SO HIMIKO DID IT!  
RIGHT?"  
'wAAAAAAAHHHAHAHAAAAAA" sobbed himiko,, "IL DIDNTDFN,,,,DDDOOOOI ITT,,,"  
"okay yall are dumb, " ouma claimed, "beloved shumai chan, take it awayyyyyyyyyyyyyy~"

  
to kokitchers request, shoeitchy started "so, hoshi was murdered during the night, correct?"  
"yeah," the class agreed,  
'so who among us was setting up for the show during the night?"  
"Not me," said tojo  
"that's right,,,, tojo"  
"I swear to-"  
"DONT USE THE NAME OF THE LORD IN VAIN YOU FILTHY SINNER" yelled angie  
"You don't understand."  
"you killed hoshi" tsumugi rolled her eyes, "we do understand"  
"I DID IT FOR MY COUNTRY!!"

  
(whaaat)

  
she continued,, "MY MONOPAD, IT SHOWED THAT I WAS LEFT IN CHARGE OF JAPAN AS A STAND-IN PRIME MINISTER,, AND WHEN I HAD TO GO HERE, JAPAN SPUN INTO CHAOS!! I NEEDED TO ESCAPE FOR THE GREATER GOOD!"  
the class was stunned,,

 

 

  
"oh wow"

  
monokuma was getting bored, "IM GETTING BORED, LETS EXECUTE TOJO ALREDY"  
and despite tojo trying to run from her execution, she died,,,,,,and so did the yellow monokid but who cared about him,

  
CAN WE HAVE A MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR OUR TWO GOOD DEAD KIDS?  
THANK YOU

 

as the kiddos exited the trial room, ouma began to speak,,, (oh no)  
"so like maki,,,,"  
"what" replied maki  
"youre not the shsl child caretaker are you??"  
"wait what"  
"YOURE THE ULTIMATE ASSASSIN"  
maki suddenly grabbed ouma into a chokehold,,, "who told you that"  
"nishishi"  
"ill kill you"  
momota pulled maki away,,, "CHILL,"  
"WE ALL HATE HIM BUT WE'LL SAVE KILLING HIM FOR ANOTHER DAY,,,,,,ITLL BE A GROUP EFFORT,,, KAEDE WOULD WANT IT THAT WAY"

 

 

 

  
"ok"

 

And So, They All Went To Their Rooms And Cried Themselves To Sleep

 

see you next time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Welcome back! I hope you had some fun reading! I'll see you all around soon! Have a great day!


	4. Chapter Tres: Well Then

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another Murder?? In My Good Christian Neighborhood??? Shameful!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! I am so sorry for being inactive for the last 3 (!) weeks! I am currently really busy offline and haven't been able to get in the ~mood~ for crack due to the stress haha. I can't be sure that I will be able to write a lot in the next couple of weeks, but when late June arrives, be ready for a Summer Cracknado! I haven't been feeling to funny lately, so I hope that this chapter is okay. Enjoy!

  
 

it was once again, a beautiful morning for saishoe acadme  
a usual morning,

  
everyone was eating stale toaster strudels that were left to thaw overnight because the toater didn't work,  
murder was on the mind  
and everybody still hates ouma

well I mean we all know that maki kills people but the rest of the crew had already killed the Pillsbury Dough Boy's Cousins ™ at some point ,,,,,,,so I mean

 

anyways

  
"hey everybody let's join my religion!!!111!!!!!1111111" yelped angie  
"no" they said  
"try iiit" said angie  
"ok" said some of them

"wait" said Sai fructose corn syrup "no"  
"but,,,,,," beeped keeber, "you cant ban our religions; that's illegal! I will sue you!"

"no its not that,,guys,,,,i figured out a pattern,,,,"  
"WELL SPILL IT BAKA WILL YA"screed iruma, asking saihara, the baka in question, to Spill  
"every time we all try to do something as a group, someone dies>."

"tenko thinks that that is stupid! Stupid Man!: hollered tenko

"can you chill for like five (5) seconds you guys this killing game is a trainwreck why don't we all just go to our rooms  until the cops find us"

"nishishi try again sweaty :):):)" echoed a voice,  
it was uoma  
"what now you nasty Fanta boy"  
"There's a time limit! if nobody kills anyone after a day or 2  we all die!"  
"oh"  
with that note, saihara was straight up about to walk away  
gonta grabbed saiharas bicep and wrapped his whole hand around it, dragging the emo protagonist closer,  
"We are one big happy family! You can't run away from your family!"  
"well you must have if you were raised by wolves"

  
tsumugi broke the silence "wow savage"

 

anyways  
   
angie broke the silence once more, "hey lets still do the religion thing ok you filthy sinners?"  
"ok" said everyone  
"good cause I already made wax sculptures of our dead friends"  
"what"  
"lets chant around them in the name of god"  
"Okay."

and so they were about to do that  
BUT THEN SUDDENLY SAIHARA BUMPED INTO OUMAS COPRSE!!!!!  
BUT IT WASNT  
HE WAS JUST FAKING  
TOP TEN PRANKS OF 2017 AT WATCHMOJO.COM!!1!  
"USO DAA YYYOOOOOOOO" the smug child said

but then they found angies corpse!!!! right in the middle!! of those wax scultures!!!

wow what a coincidence amirite

"time to investigate" ordered saihara  
tenko interrupted, "maybe later but for now lets hold a sacrifice for angie"  
"wai-"  
"ok!" said himiko, "ill help"  
"uhhhhhhhhhhhhh I guess ill help?" said saihara  
"kukukukukukukukuku kukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukuku-kukukukukukukukuku-kukukukukukukukukukukuku-kukukukukukukukukukukuku kukukukukukukuku-kukukukuku-kukukukukukukukukukukuku-kukukukukukukukukukukukukukukuku ku-kukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukuku kukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukuku-kukukuku-kukukukukukukukukukukuku-kukukukukukukukukukukuku."  
"Thanks shin guj"  
"I'm only going coz saiharas goin", commented ouma

"alrigjt" said tenko, "ill be the sacrifice!"  
"waiittt,,,t,tt, so youre gonna die too? but what if you were the one who killed angie??? what would happen then?"  
"i didn't kill angie"  
"ok"

TIME FOR RITUAL  
they begn by shoving tenko into one of shingujjis laundry baskets and covered her with a towel.  
then they began to sing around candles and then they blew them out  
then they turned the lihgts on  
and tenko was'';;die

  
"WAAAGAGAHHHHHH"  cried himioko. "WHYFYHYY ,,,,,TH,HIS.,,,,,"  
"Can We Just Chill For Like Five Minutes You Guys" asked ouma  
"no!!!1 somebody just died you apathetic toe!" replied siahara  
"mmm whatever you say~~"

  
TIME TO INVESTIGATE

HERES WHAT WE LEARNED:  
BOTH MURDERS WERE DONE BY THE SAME PERSON  
THE MURDER WAS TRIGGERED BY A TRAP  
BUT WAS PERFECTLY INTENTIONAL

CLAS TRIAL TIME LESSGO

'ok now just forget everything we found out" said shucihi, "i know who killed angie and tenko"  
"nani the heck???.,?' asked shirogane  
"you know what tenko and angie are?  
religios  
you know who hates religion?  
shinguuji  
you know who owned the laundry basket that the trap that killed tenko was set up in??  
shnguuji  
you know who put tenko under the basket?"  
"WE GET IT" scremed ducky momota, "ITS SHINGUUJI,,,SHINGUUJI IS THE CULPRIT WE GIT IT"  
"actually I was the one who put tenko under the basket but youre right, shinguuji is the murderer!"  
"kukukukukukukukukukukuku-kukukukukukukukukukukukukukuku-kukukukukukukukukukukuku"  
"This is no laughing matter, Shinguuji-kun! You committed an unforgivable crime!" responded gonta  
"kukukukukukukukuku kukukuku-kukukukukukukukuku-kukukuku kukukukukukukukuku-kukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukuku kukukukukuku-kukukukukukukukukukukukukukuku-kukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukuku kukukukukukukukukukukukuku-kukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukuku kukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukuku-kukukukukukukukuku-kukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukuku-kukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukuku-kukukukuku-kukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukuku"  
"what an interesting motive, " commented maki, 'but she isn't here, is she? how do you know her??'  
ssaihara quivered,"guys what is he sa-"  
"kukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukuku-kukukukukukukuku-kukukukuku kukukukukukukukuku-kukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukuku kukukuku-kukukukuku-ku-kukukuku"  
"I'm so sorry for your loss"frowend kiibler  
"guys what-"  
"hush saihara" kiible replied  
"kukukukukukukukuku-kukukukukuku kukukukukukukukuku kukukukukkukukukukukuku-kukukukukukukukuku-kukukukukukukukukukukuku-kukukukukukukukukukukuku ku kukukukukukukuku-kukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukuku-kukukukukukukukukukukukukuku-kukukuku-kukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukuku-kukukukuku-kukukuku kukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukuku-kukukukukukukuku-kukukukuku kukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukuku-kukukukukukukukuku-kukukukukukukukukukukuku-kukukukukukukukukukukuku kuku-kukukukuku ku-kukukukukukukukukukukuku-kukukukukukukukuku-kukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukukuku-kukukukuku"  
"KYAKAYAKA:" laughted iruma, "urdumb"i  
"alright why don't we just kill him already, hekiled my wife" cried himiko  
"kukukukukukukukukukukukukukuku-kukukukukukukukukukuku"

And So, Shinguuji Was Spun Around, Dropped Into A Pot Of Boiling Water, Cooked Into A Yummy Folklore Stew, And Then Was Released To The Afterlife, Where He Met His Sister, Who Then Proceeded To Disintegrate The Former's Spirit With Salt

sounds like fun

CHAPTER 3:END  
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (take a shot every time Shinguuji says "ku" )  
> *bonus points for your health if your taking water shots!*
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! This was so much fun to write! (Fun fact: Everything that Shinguuji says has a meaning! I wrote the kus in an ABC=123 format! For example, ku=a, kuku=b, kukuku=c, etc.)  
> Please have a great day! Take care, lovelies!


	5. Chapter Quatro: This Is Getting Trippy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murder? Again? I'm honestly a bit disappointed, you guys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I should really try to update more often, and I am so sorry for that. I hope that you guys have been having a good summer! And thank you for 1,000 views!
> 
> (In other news, I watched the Emoji Movie recently, and it was....a trip.)
> 
> Anyways, have fun!

uh welcome back lads  
so angela tenkomaeda and k i y o just died  
but I'm sure you already knew that  
so as usual everyones havign breakf-

(this scheduled programming has been interuped to brgn to you a McBroadcast from Rantaro Amami: Wasn't He Dead?  
das right, he has a message,  
"for whomst've?" you ask,  
well,  
uh,  
just listen  
"Hi. I'm Just Here To Say That This Killing Game Will Not End Until There Are Two People Left. So I Hope You Like Pears.  
Because You'll Have To Be In One.  
Ha.  
You Wished For This Killing Game."

oh aight were back  
so like everyones having breakfast- spagetty o's today  
and monokuma gets all up in here and is like  
"you would not believe your eyes  
if ten million fireflies  
THAT ACTUALLY TURNED OUT TO BE METEORS DESTROYED THE WHOLE WORLD AND CAUSED YOU ALL TO BE TRAPPED IN THIS SCHOOL"  
"you're right" kiibo kibbled, "i would not"  
"well now you have to ya tin bin of sin"  
"Blocked Flagged Reported Unfollowed Arrested Sued"

 

once monokuma left, goku exclaimed, "Friends! Let's fight Monokuma's Exisals so we can leave!"  
"NAH SORRY GONTA THATS NOT GONNA WORK MY DUDE,,,,,,,,,"kaito replied  
"HEY EVERYONE WHY DON'T WE TRY MY PLAN ITS WAYYYY COOLER" ivrooma screamed  
"i will bet my favorite nostril that you are wrong" himiko said

 

"SHUT UP YOU GREMLIN I MADE US VR HEADSETS AND MODIFIED AN EXISTING WORLD WHERE NO ONE CAN GET HURT !!!"  
"\wow iruma san that's actually a good idea," saihara admitted, admitting the quality of iruma's idea, whilst using honorifics to describe the sentence's recipient and preceding the statement with an exclamation

"HAHA SUCK IT HIMIKO IM TURNING YOUR NOSTRIL INTO A BLOWTORCH!!!!!"  
"please don't" sai d sai hara  
"I'm not convinced." said maki

"WELL THE WORLD I MODIFIED IS SAID TO HAVE A DOPE CLUE ABOUT THE OUTSIDE WORLD~~~"  
"fine"

 

And Then Everyone Entered VR Mode, Which Was Actually Pretty Lame

"oiiii iruma-chan this is lameee" ouma whined, "competition for shsl inventor must have been pretty lowwww"  
"YOURE ONE TO TALK AND I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THE SIZE OF THIS"

"WELL IM OUT" kaito said, logging out

"good because that's too much caps lock for me" mumbled saihara

"that's the most emo thing you've said today saihara Step Up Your Game" tsumuggle snickered

"Excuse Me Do You Dare To Challenge My Physical Form I Am Merely Rotting Bones, Darkness, And Eyeliner Under This Fleshy Prison"

"hey look a river!! let's cross it!!!!11!" 

"oh yeah cool lets do that"

And So They Did

With A Plank

Like Hecking Savages

"

 

 

 

 

 

"hey guys does this vr even work" ouma asked,  
"wait lemme check"

and the pUMA SLAPPED KIIBO THE H*CK UP 

'Ow!"  
"my baad! turns out the VR does work! "

 

"UH CAN I PLEASE HAVE A WORD WITH OUMA" Iroom requested  
"uuuuu,,,,,,,i m so scaarred,,,,,but il l go,,,,,,,as long as i can have a chat with gonta first??"  
"I DONT SEE WHY NOT BUT MAKE IT SNAPPY GREMLIN"  
"uuu,,,okay,,,,,,,gonta, cmere"  
"Okay!" responded gonta  
(oh you sweet summer child)

a few minutes later ouma came back and met with iruma and came back again

"wait ouma where did iruma and gonta go?" asked the detective  
"nishishi, 'ruma-chans using the restroom and gonta found a load of bugs."  
"uh okay but why is iruma faceplanting in the ground?"  
"idk its probably a glitch~"  
"this is sketchy lets scram"

And So They Logged Out, And What They Saw Next Was Unbelievable! (NOT CLICKBAIT)

it was irumas dead body 

wow 

and there was a bottle of poison in oumas chair

wow

NOTIMEFORNVESTIGATIONTRIALTIMELETSGO

"So guys, hate to say this, but I think our bro kaito killed iruma and tried to blame the crime on ouma,, just sayin" clamed saihawrrawr  
"BRO,,,,WHY WOULD YUO SAY THAT?!"  
" I mean,,,,,,,you woke up wayyy before ths trash fire happened"  
maki suggested something else, "what if iruma attempted killing ouma and blaming it on kaito"  
Keebler dropped in , " that makes sense! but didn't iruma talk to ouma? ouma what happened?"  
"gonta did it nishishi"ouma repleid  
"THAT IS THE DUMBEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD " kaito scremed  
"What?" Gonta shakily took a step back, "I have no memory of this! I swear!"  
"just ask gonta's Digital Form, I'm sure he agrees. monokuma, can you show us him"  
"upupu lol sure"  
monokuma then proceded to open up a screen, showing gonta's Digital Form

"I did it!" gonta's Digital Form confessed, "Ouma-kun showed me the Secret Of The Outside World and I succumbed to despair!"  
(um,,,,wrong saga honey :))  
"I did it? I am so sorry everyone! I will take any punishment  
"see?" ouma began to sniffle, his eyes growing glassy, " i was right! its not like I wanted it to happen!,,,iruma was tryna kill meeeeee!!,,,,uuuu,,, execute me with gonta please!!!!!!11!!!!!!"

monokuma paused,,,

"No."

Gonta was then stung by a bunch of robotic bees, stabbed, and set on fire.  
(Please pray for this cinnamon roll that left us too soon :( )

after everyone was done crying about gonta, everyone asked ouma to spill the Beans about the Secret Of The Outside World

"No."

"What?" asked everyone

"I SAID I DIDNT WANNA, IDIOTS!!!"

"What????"

"You all are so DUMB! You thought that I was actually crying for real?"

tsumugi wailed, "You are a terrible person!!"

"And you're all just like Gonta-stupid! He had it coming."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" kaito angrily yelled as he attacked ouma

surprisingly, the 5'1 boy easily reflected the attack, throwing mom ota onto the ground

"Ow!"

"nishishi,,,can it be that your capslock powers are fading??? lol how dreadful!!!"

"you....."

"BROMOTA!" saihara, kiibo, and maki immediately rushed to the astronaut's aid, with tsumug and himik close behind.

"Why do yall even care about that loser?' ouma snckered

"no," saihara looked up,  
"YOURE the loser, ouma! nobody here likes you! cant you see?"

 

 

" uh wow roasted" 

 

ouma left then and there, and was never seen again

 

UNTIL NEXT TIME

 

CHAPTER 4: END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry if this is so awkward, as I was trying to patch up some plot holes that I had made in past chapters! Anyways, I hope you enjoyed! If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, please let me know in the comments below, and have a wonderful day/night! Stay fresh!


	6. Chapter Cinco Part Uno: Jeepers!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chapter so intense, it needs to be split in half!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Drives a glittery dirtbike into your driveway without a license*   
> I have  
> r e t u r n e d .
> 
> Ah sorry for being late again but I am back! I'm trying to get back on track with updating regularly. Unfortunately, progress has been a bit slow with this fic, due to it being such a deep and heavy chapter And since it is my personal favorite chapter in the game, I really really want to make sure that it's good. This is why I split the chapter in two. Hopefully it won't take me over a month to finish the chapter though haha!
> 
> Without further ado, enjoy the show!

Ah yes  
Good morning  
As you know, Momota's been coughing up blood and We Can't Find Ouma.

anyway,s

"uh wow should we get momota a doctor or something" asked saihara  
momota grinned, "NaH BRUh IM HEalThy"  
"momota kun! your capslock!"  
"BRuH chiLL ITs AlL GOOd"  
"Momota-Kun Your Capslock"

monokuma then popped up again, ugh  
"upupu yalll there's a new  floor in the building check it Out"

and so they did   
"nyehhhhh," himiko mumbled , "someone carry me up the stairs"  
'no" said everyone,  
"NYEHHHH SOMEONE CARRY ME"  
"no"

 

"GuYs LoOk ItS mY rEaSeArCh RoOm I wAs WaItInG fOrEvEr To FiNd ThIs!" momota pointed at the galaxy-printed door with his name on it

"yeah let's go in !" kiibo agreed

and so they entered to see a model spaceship cockpit

"HoLy NuCleOli I wAnNa RiDe It!!1!1!!!!" momota screeched again

"are you 10" maki sighed  
"YeS"

 

"guys look!" tsumugi said"a file folder! looks prettyyy sus'  
"what does it say?" asked saeheyruhh  
tsumugi skimmed the document over. after a few seconds she fell over , screaming  
"HOLY DUBBED ANIME!! MONOKUMA WAS RIGHT!! NANI THE HEC-"  
"first of all," the detective sighed, "don't use the name of dubbed anime in vain, and if its okay, can I read it?"  
"sure"

and so saihara read it, and it turns out the world was blown up by meteors and the government sent some talented kids to space so they could colonize the moon or something and ~restart humanity~  
(too bad that half of them are dead amrite)

"BLIMEYS" himiko shouted, "that development's,,,,like,,,,,Family-Sized, a True Major Jumbo-Large reveal,,,,,,"  
"but what do we do with it? lets leave" maki already was facing the door,  
cos she s >edgy>  
kiibo agreed, "I think there;s some more rooms on this floor!"

and so they all left   
and found monokuma's exisal hangar!  
(yeehaw)

but since all of the monocubs died (they tripped and fell into the plot holes that I left open,,,,whoops), the exisals didn't have much of a use.  
"yo but why is there a bathroom" asked himiko, pointing to the nearby toilet,   
"hm," saihara deduced, "must be the mastermind's toilet. its nice too. no fair"  
 "BrO, LEt'S sCRAm" momota said, "I'm ShOoKeTh"  
"aight" everyone agreed,   
they went out the diddly darn door   
there was also amami's room somewhere but since amami just Had to die, it was locked  
and so The Gang went down the stais  
momota actually fell,,,,,, but uh

 

That Night Maki Appeared At Saihara's Door.  
"uh hey," she whispered, "momota has some big plan at breakfast,,so like be prepared"  
"is it that hes finally learning to chill? cos that'd be great right now."  
"no"  
harukawa vanished \

oh wow

 

that next morning momota got The Gang together and made a Grand Announcement:  
"AiGht Ya'lL HeRe's the DeaL: We gEt HaRuMaKi's wEapoN cOlection *cOUGH* ANd Kill MoNoKumA unTil hE DieS"

"nyeh," himiko shrugged, "sounds solid, I'm outta MP so this works p well"  
And So The Gang Took Maki's Weapons And Headed To The Gymnasium

 

BUT PLOT TWIST

 

 

 

 

OUMA WAS ALREADY THERE

WITH HIS OWN WEAPONS

 

"SUPRISE NAUGTHY CHILDREN IM ENDING THIS KILLING GAME"

',,,nani?' asked shirogane

"LISTEN UP IM BOMBING THE GYMNASIUM SO ONLY 2 OF US WILL LIVE! ANY VOLUNTEERS?"

(kokichi hunny this isn't heathers)

 

"ANYONE? SAIHARA CHAN PLS""

"ouma stop it!" saihara said, with shookness ricocheting through his physical form

"ah, good. I'm impressed. this was a lie,, nishishi. this bomb aint real so lemme jjust,,"

*KABOOSH*

"See? this bomb will just temporay disable your electronic devices. I've literally just grounded you all. so there. ha"

maki then began to strangle ouma again, with momota stopping her again

"look" the dictator stepped back, "just so yall can trust me, Im gonna leave all these weapons here and leave. cool?"  
"no not cool go away" himiko frowned

"aight"

 

But Then, After The Gang Doing Some More Investigatin' On The Outside World, Ouma Spawned. Now With Exisals, For A Stellar Price Of Only $19.99!

"hey guys,,," he smiled, " I got a Fun Fact about the outside world, but ya gotta give me something"  
"We"lL discUsS *COUGH* tHat LaTer! JUSt SpiLL!!!!!!!" momota lightly kicked ouma in his shin  
"owie that hurt

anyways FUn Fact : You guys aren't in space! I'm a cult leader that smuggled my way onto the Talented Kids Inc. Spaceship and crashed the vehicle into earth! We're literally in a pit of garbage right now! Cool, huh?"

"that's a lie,, right ?" saihara quivered.  
"No Comment"

 

"yOU GremLiN!" momota launched himself at the boy

 

"nuh uh hunny :)" said ouma, using the exisals to drag the astronaut away, "since I told yall my stuff, I'm taking one of you."  
"buT wHy mE?!"  
'sh"

then they vanished   
what happens next????//

uh 

 

 

CHAPTER 5: TO BE CONTINUED

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi! Hope you enjoyed! I'll do my best to finish the chapter soon.   
> If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, please feel free to let me know in the comments below!  
> Please have an awesome week! (And a peaceful Labor Day for those celebrating!)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Welcome back to reality! I hope that you all enjoyed this, as there is most certainly more to come!  
> As always, any feedback is welcome! Please take care, you are loved!


End file.
